i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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