Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
