Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
