East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
