Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
