just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
