Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
