Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
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