at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Randomize
