I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
