Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
