People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
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