I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
