i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
this will be a night to untag.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
