Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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