I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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