i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
