I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
21 Dirty Secrets From Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties That Have Destroyed Marriages
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.