I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
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I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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