Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
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can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
we're making bets on your personal life
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
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Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls