There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
