just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize