She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
what day is it and did you see me today?
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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