ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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