Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
