whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
