I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
