she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
