i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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