oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Holy sore nipples Batman
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Randomize