a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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