Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
