Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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