ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
