You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
This baby is an asshole
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
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