I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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