I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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