I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
