no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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