I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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