i don't like sucking hair
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
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