this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
