I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Randomize