You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Randomize
