she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
