I only kidnapped one of them. chill
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
