I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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