my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
