Yo dont text me then not text me
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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