I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Come back. Shots need mouths.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize