So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
