We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
