No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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