was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
