Tell her she can't have a vagina
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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