Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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