"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Enjoy the penises
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Randomize
