elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
