My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
