PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Randomize
