2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
