that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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