i need an iv and a liver transplant
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
We need to rekindle our bromance
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
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