i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Randomize
