everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
