I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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