wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
