How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize