He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
