just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
