you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
