oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Randomize
