no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize